…without breaking a few eggs.

At least that’s one of the things I constantly say to my kids.  That and

It’s not rocket science.

(Which, coincidentally, has turned out rather nice for me, as at least two of my children are determined to study rocket science just to be sassy. Who knew it would be so motivational?)

For future reference, I am calling my spinal meningitis event the SMEe (which stands for Spinal Meningitis Event….clever, I know.)

Keep Your Wits About You

Keep Your Wits About You

 

So, I am starting to feel like a few eggs.  Doctors really don’t seem to know what they are doing. And, I look at them and think,

I took human anatomy and made an A in college. And I don’t remember a thing.

And sometimes while I am talking to them I wonder how much of all that medical school stuff they actually remember. I mean, I don’t remember anything from college. (And that was before the SMEe.) I am telling you, it’s scary if you think about it.

Then, I try not to think about it. And then, I try to gather my wits about me.

But, I do worry sometimes about things. All kinds of things–mom things, wife things, person things, grumpy things, happy things…things are all over the place in my head.

Worrying Empties Today of Its Strength

So about the omelette quote–I think I am going to be a delicious omelette (can anyone tell I’m hungry? I have a month old baby. My diet consists of kid’s leftovers, carrot sticks, and an occasional almond M&M).  A delicious, decadent, fabulous, amazing omelette.

But, we’re going to have to break a few eggs to do it.

I found out this week that I have brain damage.

In fact, this week, one of the kids accidentally said to the other one, “What, do you have brain damage or something?” because they were in an altercation, and I just started laughing and said,

I do!

The kids felt bad, and I am glad they did because we shouldn’t say stuff like that to people because I am not a big fan of mean sarcasm, especially when it has the potential to hurt an innocent person…but I had to laugh. I really thought it was kind of funny.

One advantage is that I’ve never been able to tell my right side from my left side. Now, I can blame it on the SMEe.

(I have tried to tell people that it really is a disability, known as Right/Left Confusion, but no one believes me– the SMEe can take the credit, now!)

Even though I have brain damage, though, I am feeling pretty good about it. Because I have an excuse for no longer having to pretend to be good at math.

(Doing math literally makes me throw up now. Not just figuratively. Eeewww. Probably too much information!)

Also, because I have been pregnant for 15 years, I am really good at throwing up neatly and efficiently with very little mess and drama. So, now I have another reason to be grateful for morning sickness. Hooray!

That’s How The Light Gets In!

 

I can still write most of the time and that is good.

Also, I get “squeezed” in between appointments so that I can be seen super, amazingly fast–like THE NEXT DAY. I have to say that I am tempted to feel a slight bit elitist, as if I am somehow better than the “average” patients.  I try really hard not to walk (or rather, kind of limp) into the office with an air of superiority, but I have to admit, it’s a temptation.

Another advantage of this turn of events is that I get to look at life in a different way. Whereas before I would get really upset if the dishes didn’t get done, now I’m like,

Well, you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Guess we will do the dishes later…

I have realized I have limited ability to do many things, so I have to pick and choose which things are the most valuable to accomplish in a day. Sometimes that looks woefully like, well, er, nothing. And that can be discouraging, but when the choice is between, 1) pruning the bushes outside and 2) being able to physically hold my baby, well the baby wins.

Everytime.

(Please don’t come over and look at my bushes!)

(If you do happen to see my bushes, please think of this image instead. Also, keep in mind that when I look at the forlorn, misshapen bushes, I still prune them in my mind. So I think that counts for something.  For those of you who are religious, you could say that I “spiritually pruned the bushes.” )

Anyway, I am not very good at doing a limited number of things or planning to be what I consider a “lazy daisy”, so I sent myself an email appropriately titled: “Things I Can Do To Deal With This Situation.”

I think it has a nice ring to it, don’t you?

Here is my list of things to do (see, even when I am trying not to do things, I still want to do things. Grr. 🙂 )

  1. Change my attitude about a clean house and my definition of acceptably clean.
  2. If I can’t change my attitude, hire a weekly or twice monthly maid service.
  3. Make a menu and delegate it to the kids.
  4. If that doesn’t work, order takeout.
  5. Exercise and eat right.
  6. Have a stash of organic, dark chocolate covered sprouted almonds in case #5 doesn’t happen. (Those are healthy, see? Because they are organic!)

I have more things on my list and some of them are somewhat silly. But it made me feel better. 😉

Sometimes I just want to cry. Sometimes I do cry. And it’s kind of silly of me, considering that I am a very lucky girl.  And then I tell myself:

 

So I am trying.

I am going to DisneyWorld.

I was thinking I would have to wait until I could walk the parks (which might be awhile!), but I found out that DisneyWorld will allow people who have dealt with the SMEe to go to a different line so it’s not so grueling.

Also they have carts. Which have always been, for me, the most humiliating thing in the world (no, not because I am worried about what people will think about my handicap, but because I am a horrible driver.  Seriously. I cannot back up on those things. Thank heavens for the 3 million decibel warning sound it makes because I could run someone over totally by accident.)

Which is good. (Not that I could run someone over by accident, but because they will help recovering SMEe people!), because I really wanted to go.

So far my plans have not been enacted successfully.  I think #2 is close to being fulfilled, though.

All in all, I am learning a lot and I am positive that I can recover from the SMEe, if not 100% maybe almost.

(Hey, kind of could sound like “Smee” from Peter Pan!  In keeping with the Disney theme, since I am living in Orlando!):

What the SMeE would look like if it were a person

Which means that in honor of the SMEe, I will be sure to go start my Disney experience with the Peter Pan ride and my first photo with a Disney character will be with Mr. Smee!

(I will just say in a small voice right here that I am still scared to go to Disneyworld…I am very scared of not feeling well when I am not in the comfort of my home. But, I have to figure out how to live with this at least for now. It’s just scary. Thank heavens I have my sister, who is both confident and cheerful beyond belief…she is amazing. I will be in good hands.)

I don’t need to worry or fret or stew. I just need to be brave and count my blessings.  And think about that picture of Smee actually being what spinal meningitis looks like.

And when life gives me lemons, remember to make lemon infused water and, as my sister Sariah, would say:

TWIRL!!!